2012年6月21日星期四

How Do I Move on From My Ex

How Do I Move on From My Ex

This Article is part of a 14 day Reinvention Plan that will help women get over a break-up and have them focus on themselves rather than on their break-up situation. It is activities based so you will not always sit on your coach all day and read. You will get involved with doing great activities to better your new life. Your life post break-up. Get a notebook or your journal and answer the questions as you go along.

A few weeks after the demise of my relationship, I vividly remember the day when I sat in my living room in Florida with a half pint of Publix Neapolitan flavored ice-cream eating and crying at the same time because that was the only thing I wanted to do. Sometimes I cry while rifling through old family photographs and keepsakes. I don't know what makes you cry, but today, hopefully will the last time you cry over your situation.

My townhouse was built with a large mirror at the landing between my two level staircases, on one of my many trips up and down, one day I finally looked in it. That day I did not like what I saw. Not only was my hair a mess, I did not like who I saw underneath the baggy nightgown I had chosen to wear at two o clock in the afternoon on a very cheerful Florida day. I took a long hard look in the mirror and decided that very moment, that what I was crying over was not worth my time or energy, or for that matter, worth me missing out on a perfectly good shopping day.

I know the following exercise is easier said than done.

What is affecting you? Write down your situation exactly as you are going through it or exactly how you are dealing with it at present. It may be something that happened a long time ago but you are still affected by it to this day or it may be something that happened recently.

Whatever it is, this simple exercise will help you put the feelings in perspective as it had done for me. Even if you write a daily journal or have had counseling, start this activity as a brand new beginning.

Today you are trying to come to terms with your feelings. I was hiding my feelings behind Neapolitan flavored ice-cream for a long time before I mustered the nerve to think back in order to write my feelings down. I cannot promise you this will be easy. But it is certainly the first step into understanding what you need to do to get better. Chances are you may have a little time on your hands after you have completed your activity and since it's very important during any period of recovery to stay busy or focus. What would you like to do next?

Write down three things in order of importance that you can afford to do today. Choose one or all three and complete it by the end of the day. In this regard, make this the focus of your attention for the rest of the day.

1) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

3) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't expect you to sit around all day just waiting to get your activities done. I am self employed so I had a lot of time to pace myself throughout my period of activities. Whatever your availability, I encourage you to fit the activities in the time that is best for you. I do however encourage that this is done in your quiet and alone time.

Before we delve into today's activity, how was yesterday?

Did you accomplish what you set out to do?

If you did not, what was the reason for that?

The good thing is that you can always go back and complete any activity before you start a new one.

Today will be fun! You are going to use the universal language of Love, Hope, Peace and Cheer to motivate you in becoming forward thinking and hopeful about your success over the next two weeks.

For as long as I can remember, I have always enjoyed music and dancing. During my college years in Huntsville oach outlets stores, Alabama, Saturday nights were spent perusing the hottest clubs in the area or nearby Atlanta. I didn't do it because I was a party animal; I did it because music has always moved me in a positive and enlightening way. I turned that love for music into a successful two year stint as co-producer and broadcaster of an entertainment and music show that was broadcast to hundreds of thousands of people weekly. So, naturally, when I was often at my lowest, music was the outlet that lifted my spirits. What is interesting is that up to this day, I still dance alone in front of my bedroom mirror and I have a blast while doing so. Be it in my boy shorts and high heels or my leotards and ballet shoes, I simply close my eyes and allow the rhythm to take me away. There is a popular saying that goes- "Dance like nobody is watching". Even if there are a hundred persons in a room, I often pretend as if I am the only one hearing the music. This is a great way to let go of any inhibitions that affect you.

Even if you don't dance often, I would like you to proceed to this activity objectively. If you have an MP3, a CD player, a DVD player or a booming stereo system, the next few minutes (or hours) should be lots of fun! I didn't always have the tunes handy that I liked, so I used YouTube as a great resource to find them. Yes, I know that music make some people cry, but this is not intended to be a cry fest. Your music selection should be upbeat and cheerful.

I don't know who you fantasize about dancing with or who your favorite "Dancing with the stars" partner is, but today you will pretend that you are dancing for the chance of a lifetime and winning is your only option. I have listed a few of my favorite tunes that made me 'Dropped it like it's hot' and shook 'what my momma' gave me'. If they work for you oach outlets stores, use them, if they don't, then use your own list. Remember the objective is to try and begin to let go. Dancing away the negative feelings will encourage you to embrace positive ones. It doesn't matter what your taste in music is oach outlets stores, use what moves you. I used different genres of music to create a playlist that worked for me. Here is a part of the list below, choose whatever you like or create your own list and rock on! So, are you ready?

Gloria Gaynor- I will survive
Destiny's Child-Independent Woman
Christania Debarge- Goodbye
Mary Mary- It's the God in me
Destiny's Child-Survivor
CeCe Penniston- Finally
Trina-Single Again (Explicit)
Mary Mary-Shackles
Kelly Clarkson-Already Gone
Black Eyed Peas-I've got a feelin'
Irreplaceable-Beyonce
Queen Ifrica-Lioness on the rise
D'Angel's-Blaze
CeCePenniston-Finally
Single Ladies-Beyonce
Various Artiste-Ladies Night

A good way to jazz up this activity is to dress up or get in character. There is a growing movement in the United States of private pole dancers so live out your stripper fantasy or live purely through music the dreams you had of being in a production of the acclaimed musical FELA!. Make it fun! I have heard of a few of my focus group participants who made their dancing activity a monthly dance off with really good friends.Related:

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